Knowledge comes from faith. And faith comes from love. You can only experience love for anything if you reflect on your shortcomings and make up for your inadequacies. Some people have more gaps to fill in than others. Those with fewer gaps have more faith, perhaps earlier. And it also brings along knowledge sooner. What to do if you are lacking faith? You need to start to fill in your love cups. How to do this? By understanding who loves you, who wants to love you, and who are those who only accept you.
We aren’t always consciously aware of these. For instance, when our parents want to love us. Why don’t we recognize? Because we think that we don’t need that kind of love anymore. Because at best, we believe we have had enough of it, hence we don’t need more of it. Then why do your parents want to love you the way they do? Because they have a certain amount of love, which they don’t always give in the right form, or to the right places. Parents don’t always know who else to love other than their kids. This leads to imbalances in our families these days.
When Your Soul Is Full…
Most of us are trying to love our parents well, and our parents try to love us the best they can. When our parents have loved us well, they don’t understand that they can also love others. And if they do so, their kids don’t have to take in more than what they are capable of. You cannot take in unlimited amounts of your favorite food, because it becomes poison instead of a blessing. The same is true for love, when you are full of it, every additional bit becomes pain, not a present. Love is soul food. If you are full of it, you should wait until you can take in more.
When your soul is full, you need to take a break from overgiving. Because if you are always giving to others, their soul will reject love to the extent of never asking for more. That’s how you can destroy your relationship with others. When you eat too much, you take a break and eat again later. But when our soul becomes full, we forget that it will need to be filled again. By then we could let go of those who wanted to fill us up. When this happens, you should apologize. And if you understand this, you should also help others realize that it’s only healthy to give as much as others can take, as well as you can take in!
How Much We Can Take In
If you can adopt the things that interest you, you will understand how much someone can embrace. The exact amount they need, and where they signal. People always signal; they start yawning, need to go to the restroom, check their watch, or need to take a break. Even though they signal something, we tend to go on and say what we want, maybe they can take it in! True, they take it in, only it’s hard for their soul to digest… And they can become less enthusiastic to connect with you.
Healthy communication should not be one-sided because attention is fading. But when you pay attention to others they can also pay attention to you again. It is like a cycle, if you get adequate attention, you need to learn to circulate it. When everyone’s attention or energy is flowing, then you will be able to pay constant attention to one another. If it doesn’t flow anymore, it has ended. Ideally, you should practice being thoughtful to someone, and watch when you get tired. Signal it to them, and ask for their attention.
And when you receive attention again, feel that when only the others spoke, you nearly fell asleep, and when you got attention, you became energized and able to pay attention again. Because the energy that helps you and others fills you up. When both of you feel good after discussion, it is truly friendly communication.
This kind of reciprocal attention to the other person is the foundation of good friendships. People who cannot make good friends are neither able to pay enough attention or to ask for it. Anyone can be a good friend, as long as they are paying enough attention to the other person. And anyone can do this, except if they never got attention. But this is impossible; everyone received some attention. Attention can be both positive and negative, love or hate. And anything in between the two extremes is also some kind of attention.
A celebrity can get attention in the form of criticism. Similarly, you can also get attention when someone talks badly behind your back. It is of course better done face to face. But it’s also possible that they don’t have the opportunity to tell you that way. When they talk badly about you, you can feel it, and you won’t be willing to connect with someone that much. Why? Because the soul can feel things. Therefore, it is best to discuss issues face-to-face.
You should always think about how it would feel to you if someone else spoke behind your back. What would it mean to you the way they feel about you? And when something is discussed behind your back, it wouldn’t feel good to you. What does this mean? It means that you shouldn’t allow yourself to take negatively about others behind their backs either.